The Wellspring

This past Sunday was one of those nose bleed sermons.  In other words, I got several comments about how the sermon was very convicting, and the expressions used resembled descriptions of physical trauma! 

We need those sorts of sermons once in a while, and in this day and age of cheap grace and do-it-yourself Christianity, we probably need them fairly often.

Our topic was on the standard of love, and how love covers over people’s mistakes.  But an interesting question came up afterward.  How are we are supposed to cover over people’s sins and not broadcast them, when we are also supposed to “Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them?” (Ephesians 5:11).

That’s a great observation, so allow me to attempt to bring some clarity.

First, we are to interpret everything in light of scripture.  So let’s use the Bible as our yardstick.

Remember that the Apostle Paul did not back down when naming the names of those who were perverting the teaching of the gospel.  He wanted people to know who the wolves in sheep’s clothing were so that they could easily be identified.  He didn’t want people to be deceived by false teachers, so he named names.  Paul even once confronted Peter in the presence of others because Peter was allowing himself to be influenced by those who wanted to pervert the gospel by mixing in other Jewish traditions in with the teaching of the cross.

Note also that John the Baptist condemned the behavior of certain civic leaders, and his uncompromised standard ultimately got him beheaded.

Even the gentle Jesus did not mince words when attacking the character and the faithlessness of the Pharisees and the other religious leaders.  He condemned them in public and to their faces, and told his disciples to not follow their example.

So aren’t these examples violations of the standard to cover over other people’s sins?

The way I would answer that according to what I see in scripture is that people just need to be given grace when it comes to some sins, such as having a bad day and lashing out in anger, and the matter should be dropped and not brought up again.  We all stumble in many ways.  But when it comes to other sorts of sins, the matter should be exposed.  It’s all according to what sort of sin it is.

In keeping with the standard of John the Baptist, it is right to proclaim a standard of righteousness and call out corruption in our government.  It is very right to point out to people that our current president has made himself an enemy of our faith and an enemy of everything we have come to hold dear in terms of liberty.  By doing so, hopefully we can avoid the same mistake of overlooking certain character flaws in this man simply because we want so badly to finally put someone in the Whitehouse who is something other than a white male.  People need to know what this man stands for, they need to know his corrupt history, his ties with the mafia, his Muslim convictions, his hatred of the Bible, and his hatred of anything having to do with traditional American ideals.  It is not wrong to point those things out to people, as I am doing with you right now.  However, if Barak Obama came into our church, I would be required before God to honor him.  I would treat him with the respect and dignity that the office of President deserves.  I would call him “sir,” and “Mr. President,” even though it’s pretty clear that he is not even eligible for that office because he is evidently not American born.  None of my issues with President Obama matter when it comes to my mandate to honor him, because it was God, after all, Who allowed his election according to His sovereignty.  You can call Obama’s election the judgment of God on America if you want, but whatever it is, I am obligated to honor the man, and refrain from calling him an “idiot,” or whatever other expletives may come to mind.  I can hate his policies and his character, but still honor the man, just as Daniel did with evil King Nebuchadnezzar, and just as David did with the murderous King Saul.

In the case of those teaching false doctrines, I have been vocal in the past about those in prominent positions in the Church who are mixing in humanistic, New Age  philosophies in with the gospel.

There is one prominent pastor, for example, with a huge church and a widely viewed television program who I have been very critical of in the past.  I will refrain from using his name here because it has been years since I have watched this man’s program and listened to any of his sermons, so perhaps he has changed his ways some, I don’t know.  So I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.  But several years ago he was interviewed by Larry King, and King asked this pastor if Jesus was the only way to be saved.  The pastor hem-hawed around for a moment, and basically sidestepped the question, and in doing so appeared to give a thumbs-up to all religious beliefs, thus denying the ONLY way of salvation through Jesus Christ.  At the time of this interview, I did not back down from naming this person and condemning his heresy.  This is the same thing the Apostle Paul did with the false teachers of his time.  I can love the man, but for the sake of other Christians and those currently outside the faith who could be deceived by such an influential leader, I am required to call him by name and expose his heresy.

Another scenario along these same lines is that of ex-communicating someone from a local church for unrepentant sin.  Both Jesus and the Apostle Paul commanded that if someone is in gross sin in the church, then those who are mature should go and confront that person in love in an attempt to restore them.  If the person will not repent, then take a few others along and confront again.  If this does not work, take the matter before the whole church.  And if even that doesn’t work, then put the person out of the church for the sake of containing the sin and preventing it from spreading, thus upholding a high standard of holiness, and also in the hope of bringing conviction into the life of that brother or sister.

Well, you can’t bring people before the church without exposing them and their sin.  But that is the last resort.  The process must begin by going to that brother or sister privately and in a spirit of love and humility.  And such a process is not even necessary at all with certain sins.

For instance, if a person has a problem with lust, he is not really hurting anyone but himself, so my personal feeling is that an issue like that should be kept private and dealt with between brothers.  But if a person is committing adultery and justifying his behavior, continuing to call himself a brother in the Lord, then according to scripture, that is clearly grounds for exposing the sin if the person does not repent.

So the concept of covering over one’s sin versus exposing it has everything to do with what kind of sin it is, and how influential the person in question is.

Lastly, I’ll add that Ephesians 5:11 really doesn’t specifically say to call people out on their sins, although we can see from the discussion above that there are times to do that.  Remember, it says, “Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.”  That could simply mean to abstain from certain acts of worldliness and corruption, and teach others to do that same by pointing out how wicked certain sins are, since some of these standards are unknown to new believers, for example.  You can do that without pointing out the sins of someone else.  You can teach someone to honor their parents, and and how scripture equates dishonoring one’s parents as being on par with other very heinous sins.  So you could read Ephesians 5:11 like this: “Having nothing to do with dishonoring one’s parents, but rather expose how evil that sin is.”

In other words, teach and admonish one other to good deeds.  You can certainly do that without pointing out the character flaws of the guy in the pew next to you.  :-)

From time to time someone will ask me about how I feel about tongues.  Since we are a church that leans toward the charismatic expressions in terms of our methods and practices, this is a legitimate question, since tongues is never really a focus in our services.

I’ll state my position on that topic forthrightly by saying that I DO believe in, embrace, and practice ALL the gifts of the spirit, including tongues.  I don’t believe the teaching that they somehow passed away, because I know and have experienced firsthand how God is using the gifts today for the edification of the Body of Christ.

That said, I must hasten to add that I believe that tongues is the most abused of all the gifts.  People in charismatic circles will often use and abuse tongues as some sort of badge of honor, as if they have arrived to a higher spiritual level because they speak in tongues.  And, of course, that is the farthest thing from the truth.

I know people who are some of the most well-adjusted, mature, and solid Christians I know who have never spoken in tongues.  And yet I also know other people who DO speak in tongues who are some of the most flaky, immature, and unstable Christians I’ve ever met.

The Corinthian church in the first century had a little issue with tongues that the Apostle Paul addressed in his first letter to them.  In chapter 14 of First Corinthians he talked in length about tongues, but we have to remember that the entire letter of First Corinthians was a letter of rebuke.  In each chapter Paul addressed something that that church was doing wrong and attempted to bring correction.  In chapter 14 he addressed the issue of speaking in tongues, and he attempted to bring correction to them about how they were using it.  You see, the Corinthian culture was one that embraced mysticism.  So since speaking in tongues seemed like one of the more mystical of the gifts, and one that people could practice without any real accountability, as would be the case with prophecy or gifts of knowledge, the Corinthians were having a hay-day in their church as everyone was attempting to show how spiritual they were by speaking in tongues, and there was chaos.  So Paul instructed them to do everything in an orderly fashion and gave them some instructions for the practice of tongues.

So then, I’m committed to doing everything in an orderly fashion like Paul taught.  Paul taught that there should be no more than two or three people who speak aloud in tongues in a church service, and WHEN they do, there must be someone who interprets what is said.  So, as a pastor, I have to evaluate the veracity of everything that happens in our service against the truth and instructions of scripture.  So, if someone feels compelled to speak out in tongues in our services, they had better be doubly sure that there is going to be an interpretation of some sort, or I will be obligated to call that thing out in public as being out of order. So I just encourage people to know that you know that you know that God is telling you to do or say something, because if you do it and He didn’t tell you, it may end in your embarrassment.  So if you want to pray in tongues quietly to yourself in our worship services, I support and encourage that.  But as soon as it becomes something that other people can hear, it becomes the subject of scrutiny, and there must be an interpreter.

So I hope that helps you to see my heart on that matter.  You see, I welcome and embrace anything and everything that is Biblical and that the Holy Spirit wants to do in our services.  But one thing that I am diligently committed to is NOT trying manufacture some ecstatic experience just for the sake of getting goose bumps and butterflies.

Understand that that’s what Nadab and Abihu did in the Old Testament.  Nadab and Abihu were the sons of Aaron and the first priests in Israel.  After the building of the tabernacle, God had instructed the priests to perform a ceremony of worship, and God was very specific in His instructions, warning them not to deviate from the instructions.  And so when everything was prepared and the ceremony was carried out, fire from God came down and consumed the sacrifice and the glory of God appeared in a dazzling light.  The people of the community were in awe and fell down on their faces.  And then, Nadab and Abihu did something really stupid.  In their excitement and amazement, they decided to try to get God to do it again, offering a second incense offering that the scriptures called a PROFANE fire.  In response to this unauthorized offering, the fire of God came out again, but this time it consumed Nadab and Abihu.

I think that’s similar to what a lot of people do with the spiritual gifts and with worship.  They try to manufacture experiences that God is not in, and by doing so, I believe this is idolatry and offensive to God.

If God wants to visit our services with a spectacular display of some sort, hey, I’m all for that.  But far be it from me to try and hype up some emotion or try and manufacture some experience.  You will NEVER see me do that.  And thus, I try to give instruction to our people to not do that either.  Everything must be done with the utmost respect for God in mind, AND respect for the people around you.

Because tongues is very misunderstood by both people within the Church and outside of it, I have not made it a priority in our services.  I am not attempting to deny anyone any aspect of God’s various manifestations and methods of blessing His people, but it seems obvious to me in the fourteenth chapter of First Corinthians that Paul made two important points about tongues:

1) Tongues almost appears to be the less important of all the Gifts of the Spirit, since the Apostle Paul said that he preferred that people prophesied over speaking in tongues.

2) Paul also stated matter-of-factly that tongues was for believers, but prophecy is for unbelievers.  He explained that if people who didn’t understand the spiritual gifts came into a service where everyone was speaking in tongues, they will say  that everyone is crazy!  But if they hear people prophesying, their secret thoughts would be laid bare, and would fall down and worship the Savior, saying, “Surely God is among you.”

Thus, we downplay tongues in our services.

Much could be said about the importance of the practice of praying in tongues in one’s personal private time, but that is not the focus of this article.  For our purposes here, the conclusion of the matter is that the practice of corporate tongues is something we do not emphasize.

I have observed that the “charismatic” churches such as ours will attract people who have very little understanding of Biblical etiquette in worship.

From time to time over the years I have had the experience of seeing and hearing a person in a worship service that will draw attention away from what is going on and cause everyone to be distracted toward that person.  For example, some people really get wound up and get inappropriately loud or inappropriately energetic in worship.  Now, I’m all for expressing ourselves in worship with clapping, loud singing, even shouting, and even dancing.  But if everyone in the congregation is standing and singing, and someone gets the itch to dance across the room when no one else is doing that, then that person has all the sudden become the center of attention and drawn people’s attention away from their intimate time with God, which is an affront to God remaining the center of our attention in worship.

Some may argue, however, that the Psalms encourage celebratory dancing, and even King David danced before the Lord to the point that he embarrassed his wife.  Both are true, but those points would be offered out of context of this discussion on appropriate worship responses for the modern day church.

You see, when David danced as the Ark of the Covenant was being brought back into Jerusalem, there were a lot of other people dancing besides him.  Israel was a dancing culture, after all.  So we can assume that lots of other singers and dancers and musicians were taking part in this celebration.  So David didn’t embarrass his wife because he danced.  He embarrassed her because he removed his kingly outer garments, thus identifying himself too closely with commoners, apparently.

We also have to remember that King David’s dancing was not in the context of a church service; it was at a parade.  The New Testament actually makes no mention of dancing in church services, although I certainly believe that dancing is still a timeless and appropriate expression of worship that transcends the Old and New Testaments.  It’s just that the New Testament gives us no instruction for dancing in the context of church services.  All that we know of the First Century church is that many of them met in homes, and most were simplistic in nature, often without even the luxury of musicians.

The Apostle Paul instructs that everything must be done properly and in order, so one person dancing across the room while everyone else is sitting or standing still could be seen by many as distracting and disorderly.

Other Forms of Disorderly Conduct in Worship

Speaking of disorderly conduct, recently I was at a conference listening to the preaching of one of my favorite Bible teachers, Pastor Keith Moore, in Branson, MO.  The first night of the conference my family and I were sitting in front of a lady who was very vocal in her enthusiastic responses to what Pastor Keith was teaching.  She was very loud as she said things like, “That’s right,” or “amen,” or “help me Jesus.”  Now, to hear someone say those things every once in a while during a sermon doesn’t bother me at all, but this woman was saying something like that about every fifteen seconds throughout a 90 minute teaching.  And she was VERY loud in doing so.  As you can guess, everyone around her became quite uncomfortable and probably more than just a bit annoyed.  We had come to hear pastor Keith, but we were hearing this woman as much as him, and it made it difficult to concentrate.

Now, don’t misunderstand why I’m saying this.  I don’t expect people to be quiet during the preaching.  I actually like some enthusiastic feedback from the audience within reason.  My point in bringing this up is that often enthusiastic worshippers will forget that there are other people to consider.  I have heard very gifted singers go off on vocal tangents while they sang along with the worship team by adding ad-lib lines between phrases or singing in a counter-melody harmony of some sort or singing something very different than what the worship team was singing, and because of the volume in which they were singing, it became an incredible distraction among the people around them and caused them to completely disengage from the worship.  People come to hear the worship team and to be led in worship by them, and NOT someone in the congregation who feels it is his or her role to liven things up a bit with his or her own vocal performance.  That’s pride, and that’s idolatry, and as a pastor, I have to make sure everything is done – as the Apostle Paul said – properly and in an orderly fashion.

Again to qualify my remarks, I think some people would argue that they should be free to worship God in their own way.  But did you know that the Bible doesn’t say anywhere to worship God in your own way?  The scriptures give very precise instructions on how to worship God.  And God has not changed since those Old Testament scriptures were written.  He still desires that we honor Him by following His instructions, and part of honoring Him means submitting to one another out of love and respect, according to Ephesians 5.  Thus, to disregard someone else’s worship experience so that you can have the freedom to act or sing any way YOU want is disrespectful and dishonoring to those around you.  And if you are dishonoring those around you, you cannot possibly be honoring God.

As I explained in the audio, Introduction to Blessed Life Fellowship, which you can find in the sermon download section, I consider myself a moderate charismatic, which means I DO believe in and embrace the gifts of the Spirit and enthusiastic and passionate worship, but I’m a moderate in the sense that I do not believe one should try and manufacture some sort of spiritual experience, and I do not believe that it is legitimate worship to go outside the boundaries of what we see very clearly taught in scripture about worship.  And disregarding someone else’s worship experience for the sake of doing what one feels like doing is pretty much the epitome of self-centeredness.

Yes, I know I’m hammering on this issue pretty hard, and I guess that’s because I’ve been in charismatic churches all my life and I’ve seen so many abuses in the charismatic circles.  I appreciate and enjoy much of what the charismatic circles have brought to the table, but in just about every sect of Christianity, there seem to be good things and a lot of man-made traditions and abuses and perversions.  Therefore, I’m not implying that I think I’ve got it all figured out. I’m still on a learning curve as well.  But on this issue, I believe I my position represents the heart of God on the matter, and I am committed to preserving everyone’s worship experience equally.

The Problem of Spiritual Pride

I’ve noticed that there is a lot of spiritual pride in the Body of Christ these days, which I believe grieves the heart of God.  A lot of people come into a new church and they take the attitude that they are going to teach the people there and the pastor a thing or two.  Since I’ve been talking about worship, some people who have previously been on a worship team at a different church, for example, or maybe they were on an intercession team or something like that… sometimes those people will come into a new church with the idea that they are going to take the special revelation that God has given them and teach it to their new church.  So that’s one of their motivations when they do some of the things they do during worship or prayer time.  But let me just say that the thing a lot of these people are sorely lacking in is understanding the lines of spiritual authority and honoring the pastor and HIS vision and respecting HIS methods in their new place of worship.

Let me give you a couple of examples of what I’m talking about.

I mentioned above that I visited Pastor Keith Moore’s church recently in Branson, MO.  Since I’m a fairly casual dresser when I’m not a work and when I’m not preaching, I went to this conference with only casual clothes packed in my suitcase.  It was only AFTER I had arrived that I remembered that Pastor Moore has a personal conviction about the need to dress up when you go to church.  Personally, it doesn’t make a whole lot of difference to me if people dress up to come to church or dress casually.  I want people to come to our church dressed modestly, but I don’t share the convictions of pastor Moore on that particular issue.  BUT, when I was in HIS church, I didn’t exercise my rights or freedoms.  I wanted to honor HIM as the man of God in THAT church.  So…my wife and I went to a nearby men’s store and bought some new dress clothes for me to wear at the meetings.

You see, my convictions don’t amount to a hill of beans when I’m in someone else’s church.  I wanted to honor pastor Keith, and if he likes people to dress up when they come to his church, I am more than happy to honor HIS convictions and methods.  And I believe God honors that attitude.

The bottom line is that it’s a swollen ego that makes a person feel like it is okay to go into someone’s church that has been built by the blood, sweat, and tears of the pastor and his family and a close circle of co-laborers, and then proceed to do whatever you want in whatever style, volume, or method you want to do it, and feel like you are demonstrating some greater revelation by doing so.  Yes friends, let me say respectfully but forthrightly that that sort of thing is dishonoring to God, because if God is anything, He is dead serious about honoring elders, parents, government officials, and especially ministers of the gospel – EVEN if those elders, officials, parents, and ministers are in the wrong and you are right.  No one is above correction, including pastors, but people need to learn proper protocol, and much of our culture both outside the church and within it have lost the whole concept of honor.

I’m not trying to set myself up as some sort of ivory tower demagogue that people need to bow to.  Quite the opposite.  I feel like I am the servant of the people.  By the same token, however, I feel like it is very inappropriate when new people come into a church and start trying to instruct everyone or begin to operate out of his/her own convictions without first considering the culture of that church.  People need to come to church to humbly learn and grow as well as contribute, but the problem I see is that so many Christians are not teachable.  They want to always be instructing and admonishing other people, but they don’t EVER want to BE admonished, corrected or instructed.  I know some people who feel like its their call to always be giving everyone a “word from God,” but you had better take cover if you ever try to bring any constructive input into their lives.  Let me say lovingly yet firmly that you are NOT representing God’s interests if you are not able to be instructed and taught.

God’s Word says that He exalts the humble, but humbles the proud.  If you cannot yet take instruction, you are certainly not ready to be giving it.

Now, what would you think if I came into your home after you invited me over for dinner and I observed a little conflict between you and your children, and then I proceeded to start telling you how to raise your kids, and I’ve only known you for a week?  Or what if I started pointing out some of the decorating mistakes you were making and proceeded to give you some pointers about the décor of your home?  Wouldn’t you be more than a little offended by that?  But people do that to pastors and their churches all the time.

Let me close out this part of my talk by saying that many years ago my wife and I attended a large church for the first time one Sunday.  Now, my wife and I are expressive worshippers, and sometimes we just take for granted that other people are, too.  So when the music and singing started, we closed our eyes, raised our hands, and worshipped.  But then we looked around at one point and saw that we were the only two people in a crowd of about 700 who were raising their hands.  So rather than arrogantly flaunt our ‘exalted revelation’ about worship, we just honored the culture of that church and pastor, and refrained from raising our hands.  And you know what?  I believe that the honoring of that pastor and his church was considered worship in God’s sight that was just as precious as raising our hands or kneeling because that’s what WE practiced.

As the saying goes, when in Rome, do as the Romans do.  God honors that.

Adapted from Laurence A. Justice’s article by the same name

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I have sometimes been asked why we don’t have altar calls in our church.

An altar call is an appeal for an immediate public response to an invitation to give one’s life to Christ. It is popularly called the “invitation,” and is used in this context is an appeal for a public act of commitment and can involve hand raising, going to a counseling area, or signing a commitment card. Most often it involves walking down the aisle to the front of a church auditorium. The altar call is tacked on to the end of a sermon and the invitation usually is to “come forward and accept Christ as your Savior.” Various emotional techniques are used to create the proper mood conducive to getting a response, such as telling sad, tear jerking stories and playing mood-creating music.

Like many of you reading this, I grew up in churches that used the invitation system regularly, so I just naturally regarded this practice as useful, important, and Biblical.  But I did not recognize its implications and its inconsistency with God’s grace.

So firmly entrenched has the altar call become in our modern churches that preachers who do not give altar calls are often criticized as not being evangelistic.

But we at Blessed Life Fellowship do not have an altar call in the services of our church because….

God’s Word Does Not Teach the Altar Call

It is vitally important in this practice, as in all others, that we closely examine God’s Word to get God’s perspective.  The bottom line is that the “invitation” is never commanded in God’s word. There is no command in any scripture for us to use this method. Furthermore, there is also no precedent in scripture for using the altar call. The Lord Jesus never in his earthly ministry gave an invitation like the ones employed in most modern churches. The apostles of our Lord never in all their ministries used the altar call either.

In Acts 2:36-37 we are told that on the day of Pentecost 3,000 people were saved, yet no altar call was used. The response of those 3,000 was the work of the Holy Spirit of God and not of clever emotional appeals to come to the front of the meeting place. Whatever reasons one may give for using the altar call, the fact remains that it cannot be supported from the word of God.  Indeed, it is a deviation from scripture.

In the New Testament and in Christian history up until the year 1820, sinners were invited to come to Christ, not to decide at the end of a sermon whether to perform some physical action. You will search Christian history in vain for an altar call or invitation before circa 1820. George Whitefield, perhaps the greatest evangelist of all time never used the altar call. Charles Spurgeon under whose preaching more people were saved than perhaps any other pastor over the centuries never gave an invitation either.

Well, where did the altar call come from if God’s word doesn’t teach it? The answer is that the altar call is a human invention that is less than 200 years old.

It is generally recognized that the altar call was invented by a Presbyterian evangelist named Charles G. Finney who lived from 1792-1875. Finney referred to the altar call as coming to the “anxious seat” or to the “inquiry room,” and began using it in his evangelistic services in around 1820. Did the churches do it all wrong in the matter of evangelism until Finney came along in 1820 with his new methods? How were people saved during the 1800 years of Christian history before the advent of Charles Finney? Evangelist D.L. Moody took Finney’s altar call and refined it and, in turn, it was passed on to its modern champion, Billy Graham.

In a paper he wrote called, “The Christian,” Billy Graham defends his use of the invitation system by resorting, not to the scriptures but to psychology when he says concerning the invitation, “Many psychologists would say it is psychologically sound.” Biblical practices do not need the endorsement of psychology! There is absolutely no biblical authority for this practice! Yet today virtually all evangelists and pastors and churches use the altar call or invitation system.

Secondly, Blessed Life Fellowship does not use the altar call or invitation system because…

The Altar Call Contradicts the Great Doctrines of God’s Grace, such as:

The Biblical way of salvation by coming to Christ

The gospel is not, “Do something physical, and if you do, you will be saved!” The gospel is simply, “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved!” The duty of sinners is not to come to the front of the building, but to believe in Christ! To be saved, sinners must come to Christ, which means believing in and clinging to Christ (John 3:16).

The Lord Jesus Himself says in Matthew 11:28, “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

Think about it! No one can come to Christ with his feet because Christ is no longer physically present on this earth. Christ is not down here at the front of any church auditorium anymore than he is back there in the pew or outside in the parking lot or out on your back porch! As someone else has said, the fountain of life is not in front of the pulpit in some church building. The fountain of life is Christ Himself!

Along those same lines, let me hasten to add on a quick unrelated point that I also have people ask me from time to time if we ever have a call for people to come to the front of the stage to kneel and pray.  Well, here again, there’s nothing more holy about the front of the stage.  It’s just a stage.  I can’t even really call our stage an altar.  So I’m all for kneeling, and I practice that posture myself often during our worship services.  So I guess my feeling on that matter is if you feel compelled to kneel, there’s nothing more holy about kneeling at the front of the stage than kneeling right there on your chair.  It’s all the same to God.

But back to salvation, we don’t have to move a muscle to totally commit ourselves to the safe keeping of Jesus for salvation. All one needs to do is believe, and that can happen anywhere.

The altar call implies that by coming to the front of a church building at some preacher’s invitation, the one who comes becomes a Christian.  Thus, people are often led to erroneously believe that this is the ONLY way they can be saved, and if for some reason they do not respond out of shyness even if their hearts are convicted that they need Christ, then they will always be lost in their sins until they accept the invitation to come forward in an altar call.

To those who practice the altar call equate salvation with getting people to occupy a certain piece of geography at the front of a building. In doing so they effectively limit the sphere of God’s saving activity to a few square feet at the front of some building.

Conversely, God’s Word does not teach that one is saved by changing his location, but by believing in his heart!

The Bible doctrine of salvation by grace without works

Biblical salvation is not of works. Instead, it is by grace through faith according to Ephesians 2:8-9. “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” Faith itself is the gift of God and not the accomplishment or contribution of man to salvation. Colossians 2:12 calls faith “the operation of God” and Philippians 1:29 calls it a gift given. “For unto you it is given…to believe on him…”

Under the invitation system the idea constantly presented by the preacher is that the step forward is of great spiritual importance. Faith is presented as something a man does in order to be saved. Believing in Christ is identified with coming to the front of the church building in response to the pastor or evangelist’s appeal. But making an outward response the same thing as receiving Christ adds a condition of salvation that Christ Jesus never appointed. Outward works is the necessary evidence of salvation, not the prior condition of it. The altar call satisfies man’s natural desire to do something to save or help save himself.

The Bible doctrine of Sola Scriptura

“Sola Scriptura” means the scripture alone, and it recognizes that God’s written Word gives us everything we need for all matters of faith and practice. There is nothing God wants us to know or to do that is not found in His written Word. According to 2 Timothy 3:16-17, God’s word is sufficient or completely adequate for all our spiritual needs. The altar call is a way of promoting religious experience by other means than those clearly appointed in the scriptures, so it is a denial of Sola Scriptura and of the sufficiency of God’s word.

The third reason our church does not use the altar call is because…

It Does Great Damage to the Cause of Christ

What have been the results of 200 years of using this unbiblical method called the altar call or the invitation? I submit to you that the results of the use of the altar call have been, in some respects, disastrous! There are at least three things that the invitation system does that cause great damage to the cause of Christ:

1. It produces great numbers of obviously false professions of Christ.

I say obviously false because so many converts of this system refuse to do the very first thing that Christ the Lord demands of His people, and that is submit to scriptural baptism. There is a vast difference in the number claiming to be saved and the number actually baptized in this type of evangelism.

Statistics put out by Jim Elliff, a professor at Southern Baptists’ Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Kansas City, reveal that among in Southern Baptists circles, out of every 100 professions of faith only 30 are later baptized, and out of that 30 only 10 will show up at church on a given Sunday morning.

One well-known altar call evangelist held a revival meeting in Oklahoma City in which 47 people professed to have been saved. A few weeks after that meeting the evangelist confessed that of those 47, only 3 followed up with baptism.

This is consistent with Billy Graham’s own statistics.  While I am certainly not calling into question the legitimacy of the Graham’s ministry, the fact remains that he himself confesses that between 80 and 95% of those coming forward in his crusades could be accounted for in local churches a year later!  Yet many of those same people who do not walk with Christ after their response to an altar call still feel secure in their eternal salvation because of the fact that they walked the aisle when an evangelist asked them to do so.  But because they responded to an altar call, but have no inclination to walk with Christ, they are, in fact, false converts, and are thus inoculated to any further evangelistic efforts because they feel they are already saved.

2. A second thing the altar call does which causes great damage to Christ’s cause is it fatally deceives many who respond to it.

As mentioned above, walking the aisle or raising one’s hand during an invitation often gives people doing so a false hope of salvation. These people believe that they are spiritually right with God simply because they have made the required step down the aisle, though they have never truly come to Christ in faith, trusting in Him as Lord and Savior, and committing their lives to His service.  Most of these have never been told that life in Christ will mean abandoning one’s own selfish desires and laying down one’s life and ambitions for His service.  They have never been told that life in Christ will often mean persecution, rejection by some friends and family members, and battling against sinful desires in order to follow Christ.  Thus, they have never truly counted the cost.  As such, they have walked the aisle on false pretenses.  They walked the aisle simply as a way to avoid eternal damnation, not understanding that the walking of an aisle has nothing to do with being a true follower of Christ.

Large numbers of those who have come into the churches with such counterfeit conversions have stayed there as dead and deceived professors of faith, if indeed they stay in church at all. I have known some such persons who have been awakened after years of such deception to realize that in their trips to the altar they did not come to Christ! How many people are in hell today because of this deception?

3. Thirdly, the altar call causes much damage to the cause of Christ because it produces skepticism and bitterness in many who respond to it.

Many people who have sincerely and honestly gone through the invitation system have recognized that nothing actually happened to them. They tried it and it didn’t work and they know it is not real. They may also believe that others who have tried it know that it doesn’t work but that they just don’t have the honesty to admit it to themselves. If their own experience is not real, it is just natural for them to conclude that the experiences of others are false also.

Many converts of the invitation system feel that they have been tricked by the evangelist and their Christian friends into making such a move down the aisle. Ultimately, this has produced skepticism and hostility toward the gospel, and because of this realization many have fallen away from Christianity altogether.

In his day Charles Spurgeon commented on the damage done to the cause of Christ by the use of the altar call. Iain Murray, in his book, “The Forgotten Spurgeon,” quotes Spurgeon as saying, “I should like to go to the inquiry room. I dare say you would, but we are not willing to pander to popular superstition. We fear that in those rooms men are warmed into a fictitious confidence. Very few of the supposed converts of inquiry rooms turn out well. Go to your God at once, even where you are now. Cast yourself on Christ, at once, ere you stir an inch!”

Conclusion

Why do the churches keep on using this unscriptural practice of giving an altar call?

For one reason they fail to measure all things by God’s word. All of us have a tendency to accept things as being right without comparing them with God’s word to find out if they really are true.

Another reason is the desire on the parts of many pastors and churches to report numbers, because they see numbers as equal to success in the church.  Counting large numbers of converts is irresistible to these pragmatists. Some of them don’t care if the invitation cannot be found in God’s Word. It works in producing a physical response, and they say that is what is important in God’s work.

Thirdly, the use of the altar call in a church indicates a failure to trust God to do His work in this world. These people do not really believe that God can do His saving work in this world without the feeble wisdom and methods of man to help.

But how are people to be saved if we do not “give an invitation” at the close of the sermon? Christ’s invitation is found in Matthew 11:28 where he says to sinners, not, Come to the front of the church but “Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.”

If we are to be true to God’s Word we must direct sinners to Christ and not to the aisles in the church building. The messages of God’s preachers should be filled with invitations for all men everywhere to come to Christ and be saved. We must be careful not to give the impression that a sinner’s eternal destiny hangs on the movement of his feet. Let us determine to remain within the Biblical methods of evangelism by simply planting and watering, and then trusting God for the increase in seeking the salvation of souls.

Blessed Life Fellowship is proud to support Pastor David Mouti and his congregation in the village of Rianyakwara, Kenya.

Pastor David is a great man of God who has taken upon his shoulders the enormous task of bringing the gospel of Jesus Christ to his region, to help provide aid for the many orphans of Kenya, to educate the children of his village, and to assist the families of his church by teaching them agriculture and trade.  His value to his community cannot be measured.

The Church’s Brief History

Rianyakwara Blessed Life Fellowship, formerly Rianyakwara Christian Fellowship, began very much like our church here in central Indiana.  Blessed Life Fellowship of Columbus began in January of 2010 in Pastor Andy’s living room with just a few families studying the Bible and worshipping together.  In similar fashion, Pastor David started with a family of three couples in April 2010.  Ever since, the group has continued to grow in numbers until at present there are over 35 adult members and quite a number of children.

They currently meet outside under a large tree, as they have no building.

How They are Coping with Poverty, and How We are Helping

Many of the church members are very poor and live in abject poverty. Most people live on or below a dollar a day and cannot afford more than one meal a day, and sometimes go without food the entire day.

Last year Kenya was affected by famine and many starved to death. However, Pastor David has encouraged women and youth groups to start small projects to help boost their daily incomes. Such projects include: Poultry farming, market gardening (where they grow vegetables, napier grass and sugar cane in small scale), and they are praying that God will help them start a dairy farming project.  The value of this service of Pastor David’s can only be measured in the preservation of human life.

Currently, Blessed Life Fellowship of Columbus is sending a monthly contribution to Pastor David and his church.  These contributions have served to purchase a modest sound system so that Pastor David can preach to larger groups of people.  The contributions are also serving to buy Bibles for the entire congregation, as there were no Bibles before, except the one that Pastor David owned.  Owning a Bible in Kenya is a luxury that few can afford.  Our first contribution bought 30 Bibles for the congregation!

Our continued support will help to build better latrines for the people of the church, as well as provide for the needs of the orphaned children.  (There are currently 1 million children in Kenya who have been orphaned by AIDS.  Most of these children have been abandoned by the government and sleep in the streets like wild animals and eat rotting and filthy food from garbage bins.)

More about Pastor David and His Work for the Kingdom

Pastor David is led by the Spirit and hears from God.  He says that while praying one day, the Spirit compelled him to go to his computer and do a search of the blessed life.  He typed in, “blessed life,” and many sites appeared, but the Spirit compelled him to search the website of our church, and after reading it over, he felt that he had found the people that God was leading him to partner with.

After contacting me via email, Blessed Life Fellowship forged a relationship with this brave pastor who is giving his life for the gospel.  His congregation is now known as, Rianyakwara Blessed Life Fellowship, to reflect their partnership with us.

After a series of dreams directing him to bring the Word of God to the people of his region, Pastor David began attending a course on pastoral care and church management.  During this period, he also underwent a guidance and counseling Certificate Course.

Pastor David has also done elementary studies on social work and community development. Formerly he was trained as an elementary school teacher from a government college, and for more than 10 years he has taught in public schools where he serves to date.  He uses his influence with his students to teach them how to fear God. His employer is Teachers Service Commission (TSC) of Kenya. He gets a monthly salary of around $240 dollars, which is a lot in the Kenyan economy, but still not enough to support his family and all of his foster kids at even close to the level that most Americans enjoy.

God has molded him to become a servant of His people and has put a heart of compassion in him. Besides the heavy expenses of the education of his five children, two in university, two in high school and one in an elementary school, he fosters 9 orphaned children and tries to support 5 others who stay with their extended family members who are also very poor. Pastor David came across these children during his outlet preaching at a bereaved home where both parents of 6 children had died. The other 3 children belonged to an unmarried lady who had died due to HIV/AIDS and had left behind the desperate orphans. Due to the increasing number of orphan children in the church, as well as the ever demanding economy, Pastor David is praying that God brings out other sources to bless the children so that they also receive education.

How You Can Help

American dollars go a long way in Kenya.  U.S. currency is worth far more than Kenya currency, and the exchange rate it immense.  A small gift of just $250 matches what Pastor David makes in an entire month, and is worth an untold amount to their church and the people of that village.  Your contributions will go to help spread the gospel on a large scale in that area, led by Pastor David.  It will also go to care for the needs of desperate orphans, to help build a facility for the church, and basic needs for the people of the church.  Your contributions will also help to launch self-sustaining skills and trade that the villagers can use to support themselves.

Unlike giving to large humanitarian organizations who spread their dollars all over the world, our efforts are targeted at a small area in Kenya, and thus the contributions have far weightier impact.

If you would like to help bring relief to the people of Kenya, and to help Pastor David spread the gospel and care for the orphans, please make your contribution checks out to:

Blessed Life Fellowship, 5665 W PR Highland Hills Dr., Edinburgh, IN 46124

One-hundred percent of your money will go to this cause.  There are no processing or administrative expenses or overhead.  The money is wired directly to Pastor David, who then provides receipts and a photograph record of the purchases for the sake of integrity and Godly management of the contributions.

Please help to advance the gospel and support the poor and downtrodden as Jesus commanded.  Jesus said, “When you do it to least of these, you do it to me.”  This is your chance to make HUGE difference!

I am 2 days into my fast and it is amazing the heightened spiritual awareness I am experiencing already.  Even now I have a heightened sense of expectancy about what lay ahead this year, as well as a more keen awareness of the presence of God.  He is speaking, and I am listening.

I believe the LORD spoke some things to me today very clearly that I want to share with you.

First, I sense that it is indeed God Himself Who has called us to this fast, because this time of fasting is a season of preparation.  Fasting prepares the way.

You see, Jesus fasted 40 days before He unveiled His public ministry.  And we, likewise, are being prepared for where God is taking us as a church and as families and individuals.  He wants to do MORE at Blessed Life Fellowship than what we have currently experienced, and He wants to do MORE in your life and in your family as well.  But He has to have more of us so that we can handle the level of responsibility that He wants to entrust us with.  Fasting helps to strip away that which is not productive; that which is born of the flesh and represents our carnal natures.  And in doing so, it allows the spirit man to rise up and take its place as the rightful ruler of your body, mind, and emotions.

Secondly, the LORD reminded me nearly as clearly as if He had spoken it with an audible voice that 3 John 2 says, “Beloved, I would that ye prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospers.”  In other words, we prosper outwardly according to our level of prosperity inwardly – our soul prosperity.

Let me say that again so that it sinks in.

You will prosper outwardly according to the level of prosperity you are experiencing on the inside.  Most of the time, your outward circumstances are a manifestation of what is going on inside you.  If you are a wreck on the inside, you will most likely manifest that same junk in some expression on the outside.  “Out of the overflow of the heart,” Jesus once said.  But if you are prospering on the inside, that will eventually touch your outward circumstances.

Fasting helps you to prosper on the inside, because it helps to weed out all the junk that is contaminating your spirit man.

So I encourage you to go for it in this fast and not give up.  God sees your sacrifice and will reward you accordingly.

More on that last point later.

Blessings until then.

After this past Sunday’s teaching I was approached with a great question.

Before I get to the question, recall that this past Sunday we dealt with the issue of bitterness and unforgiveness and how that can give open access to the demonic to invade a person’s life.  We also discussed steps to reach true forgiveness rather than the lip-service kind.

The question afterward was this:  Is it a sign of unforgiveness if a person fails to trust someone who has broken trust in the past?

Well, in answering that question, I guess that depends on if the violation of trust was one episode or many episodes, and what that episode or episodes involved.

For example, if someone gave you their word that they would do something and then didn’t, that’s not necessarily a reason to never trust that person again.  If it was just the one occasion, I believe giving the benefit of the doubt would be in order.  However, if the person in question is a pedophile, it would not be a sign of bitterness to never allow your children to be in the same room with that person alone, even if that person is a close family member.  You wouldn’t be guilty of passing judgment on someone or holding bitterness against him if you refused to let him babysit your child.  That’s not unforgiveness, that’s just smart!  You can have compassion on that person and still love him and forgive him and hold no animosity toward him at all, and yet still exercise the God-given right to protect your children and/or yourself.

Having said that, if a person like that is a close family member, I believe it is still possible to honor that person and show him love and grace even while maintaining an arm’s length relationship with him.

If a teenage girl is routinely beaten and abused by her father, for instance, it would be the better part of wisdom for that girl to not live with him or visit him in his home all by herself.  She can still honor him, love him, have compassion for the demonic strongholds in his life, and yet still keep her distance.  She can send him Christmas cards with warm, heartfelt salutations.  She can acknowledge his birthday.  She can even spend some time with him in a public place with other people present.  She can treat him as if he never sinned against her at all, and thus “keep no record of wrong” (1 Cor. 13:5).  Yet she can also obey the Biblical mandate from Proverbs that says, “The wise see trouble coming and take refuge, but fools plunge ahead and suffer harm.”  These are not opposing concepts.

While God can cast our sins in the sea of forgetfulness and remember them no more, we, on the other hand, have been given vivid memories that will not let us forget.  This is a defense mechanism that can work for or against us.  It works against us in making it more difficult to forgive completely.  But it works for us by helping us to avoid potentially dangerous situations with certain people and places that have threatened our well-being in the past.  So God allows our memories to remain intact in order to help us make wise, self-preserving decisions.  So the standard of “keeping no record of wrong” doesn’t really mean forgetting that you were violated in some way.  It just means not treating the violator as their sins deserve.  You can protect yourself and still have mercy on the offender.

There are many other examples of extending the love of Christ while also making wise choices.  You would probably not agree to go into business with someone who has had a history of extortion and other dishonest behavior, for example.  That would be ridiculous.  But you can, nevertheless, love and care for that person and hold no grudges or judgments against him or her for past offenses.

I should hasten to point out, however, that there are many Christians who will take this standard and apply it where it should not be applied.  I know people who claim they are keeping their distance from a family member in order to protect themselves, but in reality it is simply a matter of seeking their own revenge and not wanting to deal with the issues and not wanting to show love, compassion, and forgiveness toward the wrong-doer, and then hiding behind a self-righteous façade of “self-preservation.”  That’s not what I’m advocating, obviously.  But it goes on all the time.  People get offended and then claim that they have forgiven that person, but will go to great lengths to avoid those people from then on.

Again to clarify, I believe it is also within the rights of Christians to avoid people who are hell-bent on pulling them into an argument or confronting them in some way every time they see one another.  In order to protect your own peace of mind (and sanity), sometimes it is a good practice to simply avoid some people.  This is not evidence of bitterness necessarily, but simply an effort at preserving peace and goodwill.  If someone you know tempts you to get out of love whenever you see or speak with him or her, perhaps the best policy would be avoidance, but at the same time keeping your conversation, thoughts, and judgments of the person charitable.  Indeed, someone who is bound and determined to argue or find fault is controlled by hell itself, and should be pitied.

I often marvel at the continued lowering standards of people’s vocabularies.  Even in the church, there seems to be very little conviction about what comes out of one’s mouth.  I know people who I perceive really love God, but they can cuss a blue streak and don’t seem to have any discomfort with using the same vile language as the rest of the world.

This is not an issue of simply being “old fashioned,” “out of touch,” or overly sensitive. The Bible does address this issue in no uncertain terms.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. –Ephesians 4:29

…You must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. –Colossians 3:8

Some people argue that certain words are simply cultural swear words that mean nothing in other cultures.  That’s true enough, but in keeping with Biblical standards, we should refrain from allowing to pass through our lips anything that could be potentially offensive to anyone in whatever culture we find ourselves.   If you can’t say it comfortably while addressing your pastor or your church, then it shouldn’t be a part of your vocabulary at all.

Why is it that people will refrain from saying certain words in front of their pastors or when they are at church, but show no restraint in their speech in their normal conversations every other day of the week?  Isn’t that terribly hypocritical?  And why are certain words okay for adults but not okay for their children?  Again, hypocrisy!

This has been a frustration of mine for quite some time now as more and more of the Church conforms to the pattern of this world in direct violation of Romans 12:2:  Brethren, be not conformed to the pattern of this world…”

The fact is, we are called to be salt and light in a sin-soaked world, and that means being starkly different in our speech and behavior.  We are, in fact, called to be “peculiar” people, a people belonging to God.  I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that in some respects, we should even stand out because of how differently we talk and act.

This subject has come up again for our family recently as our oldest child and only daughter, Hannah, has taken a job at a restaurant where she hears language that is very unbecoming, especially for a child of God.  We have talked about this topic extensively in reiterating our standards to Hannah, who, thank God, has very high standards of speech and is repulsed by profanity.  We would all do well to hold such high standards.

But beyond the Biblical standards, the thing I wish I could say to all Christians and non-Christians alike is how unsophisticated, unrefined, unprofessional, and uneducated profanity makes a person sound.  I wish I could say to some people, “Do you know how idiotic you sound?”  The use of profanity is also extremely selfish and insensitive to those in ear-shot because it shows absolutely no concern whatsoever about the sensitivities of others.

In short, Christians are called to show soberness and restraint in all of our conduct.  We are to be holy, because our heavenly Father is holy, according to 1 Peter 1:16 and elsewhere.  And holiness does indeed include our speech.

We don’t even know her name, yet she was discussed at the Scopes Trial in 1925 — the trial that led to the theory of evolution being taught in public schools — she was mentioned in the movies Inherit the Wind and Contact, and talked about in countries all over the world for hundreds of years.

Skeptics of the scriptures have used Cain’s wife time and again to try to discredit the book of Genesis as a true historical record. In fact, this not being satisfactorily answered by the defenders of Biblical creation in the Scopes Trial is one of the reasons that the evolutionists ultimately won.  Sadly, most Christians have not given an adequate answer to this question. As a result, the world sees them as not being able to defend the authority of Scripture and thus the Christian faith.

Why is This Important?

Many skeptics have claimed that for Cain to find a wife, there must have been other “races” of people on the earth who were not descendants of Adam and Eve, a so-called ”pre-Adamic race.” To many people, this question is a stumbling block to accepting the creation account of Genesis and its record of only one man and woman at the beginning of history. Defenders of the gospel must be able to show that all human beings are descendants of one man and one woman (Adam and Eve) because only descendants of Adam and Eve can be saved. Thus, believers need to be able to account for Cain’s wife and show clearly she was a descendant of Adam and Eve.

An Easy and Obvious Explanation

God said to Cain as recorded in Genesis 4:12, “You will be a restless wanderer on the earth.”  It is logical to assume then, that since Cain was driven from the land and became a vagabond, that he wandered for many years, eventually settling in the land of Nod, and then after several more years took a wife.  As life spans were almost a thousand years at this point, we see that men were not even having children until they were well over a hundred years of age.  Adam was 130 when Seth was born, and Seth was 105 when Enosh was born (Genesis 5:1-6).  Thus, by the time Cain took a wife, there would have been ample time for Adam and Eve to have more sons and daughters who would have easily been marrying age by the time Cain married.  Genesis 5:4 says that “After Seth was born, [Adam] lived 800 years and had other sons and daughters.”

So let’s loosely speculate that Cain was maybe 25 when he killed Abel.  He was then driven from the land, wandered for decades, and during that time Adam and Eve were having more children who were also spreading out over the region and having their own children.  By the time Cain settled in the land of Nod, he had brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews living there.  So he could have been 100 years old or more by the time he took a wife, who could have easily been 50 years old by that time for all we know. The bottom line is, it’s not too difficult to read between the lines and see that this is exactly what happened: Cain married a sister or a niece who was born and grew up during his years of wandering.

In the teaching this past Sunday we focused on principles of parenting, focusing on helping your children to develop and embrace a Biblical worldview.  If you missed it, ask me for the notes and audio. 

In this post, I would like to add to those thoughts by addressing both parents with children still underfoot, and also empty nesters.

First, one word of wisdom to parents of children still living in the house.

Just as I said to never, ever, ever let a child get away with disrespectful behavior toward you or other elders, I need to say just as strongly to never, EVER let your child get away with disobeying you, or not obeying you immediately.  Parents need to practice the discipline of requiring FIRST TIME and IMMEDIATE obedience.  Having to be told something multiple times is not first time obedience, and delayed obedience is likewise not respectful of your commands.  Thus, parents MUST discipline themselves to require a child to obey immediately. 

I’ve seen more parents than I can count practice the “counting” method of giving out commands.  When their child doesn’t obey right away, they begin counting: “One, two….”, and when they reach three, the child knows to obey.  So then, if a child can be trained to obey by the count of three, then the child can be trained to obey immediately.  The one and ONLY reason a child won’t obey immediately is because the parent has trained the child to obey whenever they want, as long as it’s before the count of three.  But a child can learn that if he/she doesn’t obey immediately, there will be uncomfortable consequences.  And this standard can literally be the difference between life and death.  I’ve heard stories of children running out in traffic with their parents frantically screaming after them, but because the child had not been trained to obey immediately, the child just kept running, and the result was the child’s death.  But I’ve also heard similar stories about children who were in a life-threatening situation and were saved from harm because the parent shouted out a command, and since the child was trained to obey immediately, the child was turned away from a potentially life-threatening situation. 

But beyond the life-saving implications of first-time obedience, we also have to be mindful of the fact that children are just much more pleasant to be around when they have been trained to obey immediately and respect authority.  Your children aren’t as embarrassing in public whenever they have been trained that way. 

The thing that you have to understand as a parent is that this standard requires harder work on your part, because you have to be diligent to dish out some discipline when your children don’t obey immediately.  If you do not follow through whenever your child disobeys or does not respond immediately to your commands or instructions, then you have just given your consent for your child to disobey or ignore your instructions the next time.  Folks, even dogs can be trained to obey immediately.  It’s really not that hard.  I understand that kids can be stubborn, and Donna and I are still in a process ourselves with our own children.  But they can be trained, because children, like dogs and cats, will do whatever they can to avoid unpleasant consequences.   Donna and I have not always made good parenting decisions and have often learned through trial and error, but the one thing that I believe we have gotten right is our decision to implement first-time obedience. 

A Word to Empty-Nesters

For you empty-nesters, let me say this:  Perhaps you feel it’s too late to pass on these standards to your kids who are already out of the house and raising families of their own.  Yes, to some degree that’s probably true.  But you can at least do this:  You can sit down with your adult kids and say something like, “You know, there are some things I wish I had done differently in my parenting, and I ask that you forgive my ignorance.  But I’m learning some things that I can pass on to you for the benefit of your kids if you’re willing to talk them over with me.”  Appeal to your adult children’s sense of love and protection regarding their own kids, because they, too, want their children to do well in life.  Pray that God will help your adult children be open to the wisdom that you have to share.

And lastly, empty nesters, and ALL of us for that matter, have been called to be an influence in the lives of people outside our immediate families.  Remember, there is a law of sowing and reaping that is always at work.  If you take the time to sow into the life of someone who needs your wisdom, instruction, and encouragement, then you will reap good things back as a result.  It’s not just about you and your immediate family.  God gave us all to one another.  We are the family of God, so don’t ignore your responsibility to those outside of your immediate circle.  Take someone under your wing and disciple them.  Be the mentor that you wish you had when you were younger.  Or if you did have the privilige of having a good mentor, then reproduce that in someone else. 

These are important principles in passing on a heritage of godliness to the next generation.